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Elevenses in Cape Town

Musings on life, abuse, marriage, divorce and anything in between

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Tag: Narcissist

In the spirals of my mind

Memories have power. They can slide in from left field with no warning, evoking intense emotions and leave you in a completely different space, whether uplifted or flat on the floor in a puddle of tears. I saw a photo this morning of one of my children as a baby. It triggered a chain reaction … Continue reading In the spirals of my mind →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment May 12, 2022 3 Minutes

Man plans, God laughs

This is not the post that I was planning on writing today. What I was going to write about is how going on a few dates has left me feeling off-kilter and my senses spinning like they have been assaulted. How a number of men portray themselves as one thing, but when you meet them, … Continue reading Man plans, God laughs →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment September 5, 2021 5 Minutes

There is No Win

Coming out of this relationship feels like there is no win. I am stuck to my ex as we have a business together and children together. I am unable to quit from the business as it funds my life and my half of the kids expenses. Because of the children, I see him on a … Continue reading There is No Win →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment December 16, 2019 4 Minutes

Gaslighting

I had an epiphany over the weekend. I have always been obsessed with finding out the facts of what happened when there has been a problem; who was responsible for causing the issue where applicable; then finally trying to piece everything together to get as close to the truth as possible. The facts are important … Continue reading Gaslighting →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment September 16, 2019 3 Minutes

And then there was one

Here I sit, two weeks post-divorce, wondering what the hell happened. There were so many people that told me it was a time for celebration, but it didn't feel like that for me. I felt the sting of the loss of the hopes and dreams I had had for this relationship. I felt the weight … Continue reading And then there was one →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment September 1, 2019 5 Minutes

Isolation and Loneliness

Isolation and loneliness can go hand-in-hand, depending on the circumstances. In my life, I have had plenty of both, sometimes at the same time. With both a neglectful, narcissistic mother and an ex who had very similar traits, I was in the "perfect" position to keenly feel both of these. My mother abandoned me by … Continue reading Isolation and Loneliness →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment April 20, 2019 4 Minutes

Bent or Broken?

I was listening to Just Give Me A Reason by P!nk this morning. I paid attention to the lyrics more than usual today. There are two lines which go: " Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again". … Continue reading Bent or Broken? →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment January 13, 2019 3 Minutes

Tired of Being Tired

I am not alone with the struggle of not being good enough. It is a repeated theme in conversations that I am privy to and seems to touch humans in general in some way or another. Sometimes it is big - a deep-seated belief of being completely unworthy of love or any form of kindness … Continue reading Tired of Being Tired →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized 2 Comments November 30, 2018 4 Minutes

Pain

Pain comes in many sizes, shapes and forms. Mine is typically emotional. I fortunately have a very high physical pain threshold. This has served me well as I have popped out four kids and torn on each delivery. No, I didn't feel it at the time. Yes, I recovered. No, I don't have a floppy … Continue reading Pain →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment October 22, 2018October 22, 2018 5 Minutes
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