Or, at least, there I was. Stuck in what felt like an infinite time-loop continuum. Going from being told I was crazy and needed help, to feeling like I was indeed crazy and needed help and then thinking, (rightfully), that perhaps I am actually relatively normal and it's the other party who needs the help, … Continue reading And There We Were…
The Thinnest of Skins
Recovery and Serenity can be as fleeting as clouds I think that I let my guard down and became lax - lackadaisical that is; carelessly lazy. I let a couple of months of respite from the roller-coaster ride I have been on for the last number of years, lull me into a sense of full … Continue reading The Thinnest of Skins
New Skin
I recently burnt my wrist on the oven. I was in a hurry to get food out of it as I had forgotten the time and was concerned that it might be burnt or at least dried out. In my haste, I didn't bend down quite far enough and the top of my wrist pushed … Continue reading New Skin
I can’t win
With the help of a wonderful therapist, I am addressing the negative stories that I tell myself. Those go-to places that underline all the things that we believe are wrong with ourselves. The I am not worthy, I am not strong enough, I am not thin enough, I am not pretty enough, I am not … Continue reading I can’t win
The Victim
I can't think of anyone who would like to admit that they have a victim mentality. Yes, some will say that they have been a victim of circumstances, but not many would 'fess up to it being a way of life. The victim of circumstances, (such as being burgled, raped, abused, retrenched and all the … Continue reading The Victim
Control
Control: the power to influence or direct people's behaviour or the course of events. Control shows up in in different ways - being controlled by another; controlling someone else; or controlling the events in your own life. Having been controlled by my ex and my mother for years, being subjected to manipulation and the other … Continue reading Control
There is No Win
Coming out of this relationship feels like there is no win. I am stuck to my ex as we have a business together and children together. I am unable to quit from the business as it funds my life and my half of the kids expenses. Because of the children, I see him on a … Continue reading There is No Win
Hidden Pain
Sometimes the things that come for free are the hardest to obtain. Love, respect, honesty, friendship. In my line of work, I am entering the busiest time of year and with that comes the handling of clients with complaints. As with all of these, some of these are unfounded complaints and others are legitimate. Either … Continue reading Hidden Pain
Serenity – the elusive butterfly
I started this post in the middle of last week and then just didn't finish it. My original thought was to post on the serenity that I am finding more and more often. Then that serenity disappeared in a puff of smoke - burned by the demands of work; the busy times with children; a … Continue reading Serenity – the elusive butterfly
Gaslighting
I had an epiphany over the weekend. I have always been obsessed with finding out the facts of what happened when there has been a problem; who was responsible for causing the issue where applicable; then finally trying to piece everything together to get as close to the truth as possible. The facts are important … Continue reading Gaslighting
The Flats
There is a certain calm that the ocean provides for me. The breaking of the waves is hypnotic to watch. The way the water swirls and eddies around rocks and gracefully retreats back down the sand or catches you unaware as it flows in. Add to this the changing colours of the sea; the way … Continue reading The Flats
