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Elevenses in Cape Town

Musings on life, abuse, marriage, divorce and anything in between

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And There We Were…

Or, at least, there I was. Stuck in what felt like an infinite time-loop continuum. Going from being told I was crazy and needed help, to feeling like I was indeed crazy and needed help and then thinking, (rightfully), that perhaps I am actually relatively normal and it's the other party who needs the help, … Continue reading And There We Were… →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment October 20, 2018November 29, 2018 1 Minute

New Skin

I recently burnt my wrist on the oven. I was in a hurry to get food out of it as I had forgotten the time and was concerned that it might be burnt or at least dried out. In my haste, I didn't bend down quite far enough and the top of my wrist pushed … Continue reading New Skin →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment September 7, 2020 1 Minute

I can’t win

With the help of a wonderful therapist, I am addressing the negative stories that I tell myself. Those go-to places that underline all the things that we believe are wrong with ourselves. The I am not worthy, I am not strong enough, I am not thin enough, I am not pretty enough, I am not … Continue reading I can’t win →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment September 1, 2020 4 Minutes

The Victim

I can't think of anyone who would like to admit that they have a victim mentality. Yes, some will say that they have been a victim of circumstances, but not many would 'fess up to it being a way of life. The victim of circumstances, (such as being burgled, raped, abused, retrenched and all the … Continue reading The Victim →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment August 31, 2020 5 Minutes

Control

Control: the power to influence or direct people's behaviour or the course of events. Control shows up in in different ways - being controlled by another; controlling someone else; or controlling the events in your own life. Having been controlled by my ex and my mother for years, being subjected to manipulation and the other … Continue reading Control →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment February 16, 2020 3 Minutes

There is No Win

Coming out of this relationship feels like there is no win. I am stuck to my ex as we have a business together and children together. I am unable to quit from the business as it funds my life and my half of the kids expenses. Because of the children, I see him on a … Continue reading There is No Win →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment December 16, 2019 4 Minutes

Hidden Pain

Sometimes the things that come for free are the hardest to obtain. Love, respect, honesty, friendship. In my line of work, I am entering the busiest time of year and with that comes the handling of clients with complaints. As with all of these, some of these are unfounded complaints and others are legitimate. Either … Continue reading Hidden Pain →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment November 1, 2019 3 Minutes

Serenity – the elusive butterfly

I started this post in the middle of last week and then just didn't finish it. My original thought was to post on the serenity that I am finding more and more often. Then that serenity disappeared in a puff of smoke - burned by the demands of work; the busy times with children; a … Continue reading Serenity – the elusive butterfly →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment October 22, 2019 3 Minutes

Gaslighting

I had an epiphany over the weekend. I have always been obsessed with finding out the facts of what happened when there has been a problem; who was responsible for causing the issue where applicable; then finally trying to piece everything together to get as close to the truth as possible. The facts are important … Continue reading Gaslighting →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment September 16, 2019 3 Minutes

The Flats

There is a certain calm that the ocean provides for me. The breaking of the waves is hypnotic to watch. The way the water swirls and eddies around rocks and gracefully retreats back down the sand or catches you unaware as it flows in. Add to this the changing colours of the sea; the way … Continue reading The Flats →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment September 11, 2019September 11, 2019 4 Minutes

And then there was one

Here I sit, two weeks post-divorce, wondering what the hell happened. There were so many people that told me it was a time for celebration, but it didn't feel like that for me. I felt the sting of the loss of the hopes and dreams I had had for this relationship. I felt the weight … Continue reading And then there was one →

bulawayogirl Uncategorized Leave a comment September 1, 2019 5 Minutes

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